Toward Always
by imdoingthiswhy
Summary: Time: Between Christmas and New Year's. Relationship changes between Rick & Kate. Romance, family, fluff, a short case and a promise from an unexpected source. Chapters finished: will be posted as they grow less offensive to the grammar/punctuation gods.
1. Chapter 1

**Toward Always**

Kate and her dad had a late afternoon Christmas dinner with the Castles and spent the evening at the loft. After only a few awkward moments when they initially arrived, they had fallen into the general good will that was a part of the Castle family. By that night, the conversations, laughter, teasing, gift-opening, etc. had come to feel natural. The group was a good fit.

Alexis went to her room earlier to make a couple of phone calls, asking Kate if they could talk later…boy questions again, and college questions, and general girl talk. After waiting a while to allow her time for phone calls, Kate walked up to Alexis' room and spent about half an hour with her while Castle and her dad talked downstairs. Around the same time Kate went upstairs, Martha excused herself and left to visit an old friend who lived close by, to have a drink and exchange gifts.

As she put the towel down to go to talk to Alexis, Beckett insisted that she would take care of the rest of the kitchen clean-up before she and her dad left. Castle argued, but she shooed him out of the kitchen, saying it was the least she could do, and he'd better leave it for her. She was almost finished when she heard her father call her.

"Are you almost ready, Katie? Jake said he'd be over about ten."

"Yeah, Dad. Won't be but a minute."

Turning his attention back to his conversation companion, he explained to Castle, "A college friend. He didn't get home until yesterday. I don't see him often, and his plane leaves tomorrow afternoon. This was about the only time we could manage."

Castle watched Kate as she put the last glass in the drainer and asked her father quietly,

"Would you mind if I keep your daughter just a little bit longer? I'll take her home later. Alexis has been having a hard time for the last month or so. I'm hoping Kate can give me an idea of something I can do to help. She won't tell me what they said – Code of Girldom, or something like that – but maybe she can give me some hints. This way you don't miss seeing your friend, and you'll know she'll get home safely."

"She and her mom were the same way. Now and then I was jealous, but they always made it up to me by doing something to make me feel special." He smiled at the memory. "It must have been hard getting your little girl this far without a mother around."

Kate had picked up on the conversation and walked over to join them.

"Do you mind, Kate?" Rick asked, looking up at her. "You don't have to stay if you have something else to do. We can talk later."

"You okay with that, Dad? You were just going to drop me off anyway."

"No problem, Honey," Jim said as he stood. "I won't have to rush to get home in time, and I trust Rick to take care of my girl." He leaned and kissed her cheek before he picked up his coat to go.

Castle walked him to the door and shook his hand before he left. "'Night, Jim. Merry Christmas." Closing the door and turning back to Kate, he said, "Thanks for the kitchen duty. You didn't have to, you know."

"I know. Consider it pay back for a family Christmas. Dad and I haven't had one of those in a long time. It was nice."

"I like seeing you with your dad. Another side of you."

"He likes you. He's been not too quietly cheering you on for a while now."

"I knew there was a reason I liked him." He was rewarded with a back-handed swat on his upper arm, and he laughed, feigning pain.

"I appreciate your taking time to talk to Alexis. Sometimes she needs a woman's perspective. I've done my best over the years, but I'm not really qualified in that department."

"What about your mother?"

"She's been a big help, but she hasn't always been here. She gives some good advice when you really listen, though; there's a much wiser woman there than what shows on the surface. But I know Alexis enjoys being able to ask advice from someone closer to her generation, especially when it's you."

"She's a great kid, Castle. I think I love your daughter," Kate said with a shy smile.

"I think she loves you, too."

"Really?" She looked truly pleased.

"It means that much to you?"

"I hadn't thought much about it, but I guess it does."

"Anything you can tell me without infringing on her privacy…without breaking the girly code?" he asked, making a face and wiggling his fingers as he said the last two words.

"Maybe a little," she answered, smiling at his antics.

He held a hand out, inviting her to sit on the couch with him, and she reached and took it as they walked the short distance to sit down. They were more comfortable with being close, with kisses and touches, than they had been a few months ago. Kate's barriers were weakening; and, for once in his life, Rick wasn't focused on how to get the woman he cared about in his bed…although he had to admit to a number of dreams and fantasies about that. He wanted her feeling comfortable in his life first, and they had been inching up on that, especially in the past month. They sat facing one another, mirroring their positions with one arm on the back of the couch, one foot on the floor and the other at the edge of the seat where a knee rested on the cushions. Their knees were touching lightly, and their hands brushed against one another, fingers twining together now and then as they talked for a while about Alexis. The conversation then drifted into other things; and before they knew it, an hour had gone by.

"I guess I should go," Kate sighed, standing when she realized the time. "I have to be at work tomorrow. You don't have to take me home, though. I can take a cab."

"Oh, no, no, no. I'm a father, and I promised another father I'd get his little girl home safely." He flashed a smile at her. "That's part of the Dad Code."

"There's one of those, too, is there?"

"Oh, yeah," he said with a grin.

"Okay. Then take me home. Wouldn't want to have to tell my dad you broke the code."

"Let me just go up and tell Alexis."

"She's probably asleep by now. When I left, she was in bed with a book. She said she was going to read the last chapter and get some sleep."

"I'll leave a note in the kitchen, then. She knows where to look for one if I'm not here."

"You're a good dad, Rick. I think that impresses me more than anything else about you."

"Oh, other things about me impress you, too?" he asked as he stood to join her, his pleased little boy face showing.

"Lots of things…but don't expect me to repeat that. Your ego is big enough already," she teased. "It's just…when I see how much you care about her, how devoted you are to one another, how much she trusts you…. I don't know. It's a nice thing to see. It's something special."

He didn't trust himself with words right then, so he rested his hands on her upper arms, leaned down, and kissed her gently; and she returned the kiss. Then she put her arms around his neck and kissed him again, less gently. He could tell that something was different. When she looked up at him, it felt open and free. There was nothing held back. She seemed completely comfortable with everything.

"Do you want me to take you home now?" he asked, resting his forehead on hers and leaving a little space between them. He knew better than to push too hard.

Her top teeth bit her bottom lip slightly and looked up at him as she shook her head slowly, then she softly answered, "No."

He pulled her close and kissed her again, this time more deeply, then dropped a light kiss on her temple before burrowing his face in her hair near her ear. "Will you stay with me tonight?" he asked softly. "I don't want to be without you yet." Noting a hint of hesitance coming back, he straightened to look at her, quickly assuring her, "Nothing has to happen if you don't want it to. No matter what my rebellious body might try to tell you…nothing has to happen. Just stay and be close to me tonight. I'm capable of being a perfect gentleman…well, almost perfect."

"I know. I trust you," she answered, leaning against him again.

"That's the best Christmas gift you could give me," he said quietly and sincerely, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Are you sure?" he asked, giving her an opening to change her mind.

"I'm sure." She leaned her head on his shoulder, and he pulled her close to his side and guided her through his study and into his room.

He gave her one of his T-shirts to sleep in and changed into pajama bottoms and a T-shirt while she changed in his bathroom. When he closed the bedroom door and was trying to imagine how Christmas could possibly get any better, she emerged from the bathroom, barefoot and looking adorable in the oversized shirt; and he decided it just did.

"I like it," he smiled, pulling back the covers and getting in bed.

When he held the covers up in invitation, Kate joined him and turned to face him on her pillow. Almost simultaneously, each reached for the other, intending only a goodnight kiss. That was how it started…gentle, and easy, and innocent. They took their time, gradually allowing the kisses to become deeper, easing slowly into exploring, experimenting; and, by the early hours of the morning, it had become a night that left them sated, content, and exhausted, arms and legs tangled in a full body embrace. The last words either of them remembered hearing before they fell asleep were whispered superlatives.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Kate was the first to wake, realizing it was already seven, much later than she usually slept when she had to be at work…and then realizing where she was. She sat up quickly, feeling a few moments of panic, unintentionally rousing Castle out of his sleep with the sudden movement.

He caught her around the waist, saying sleepily, "Don't go. Not yet."

"I have to. Your family…Alexis…work…Alexis…"

Groaning and pulling himself up on one elbow, he rested his head on his hand to talk to her. He obviously wasn't quite awake, but he was handling it well.

"At least stay for breakfast. You need to eat somewhere. I'll make coffee while you shower."

"No! The smell of coffee will wake them up."

"Are you ashamed of staying with me last night?"

"What? No!" she answered while grabbing the discarded T-shirt from where it dangled precariously at the end of the bed and pulling it over her head. "It's just that…it's going to be embarrassing for all of us if I'm leaving when they come down for breakfast. I don't want to make them uncomfortable."

"They won't be judgmental. Mother has no room to judge, and Alexis has seen both Mother and me come home in a morning walk of shame from time to time… We haven't always been shining examples."

"That's the point."

"What?"

"I don't want Alexis to see me that way. I don't want her to think of me that way," Kate answered, her eyes looking a little misty. "I don't want her to think of us that way."

"That isn't how she'll see it, Kate, he answered, rubbing her arm soothingly. She knows this isn't some casual thing. She knows how we feel about each other. We already feel like you're family, and family is here for breakfast. I'll be with you. They won't be up for a while anyway. Sleeping late the day after Christmas is a Castle tradition. But, if it really worries you, maybe it would be less awkward if we get dressed and start breakfast," he suggested.

She leaned back on the bed, facing him, copying his position; and he reached his free arm around her to pull her into a comforting hug.

"Yeah, but I'd be wearing the same thing I was wearing last night. Better, but still a little obvious."

"Not necessarily. I was hoping this would happen sooner or later." He gave her a quick kiss and a big smile. "Did I mention yet that last night was the best night of my life?"

"Did your mind just wander?" She was smirking, but it was a pleased smirk.

"Umm…probably. He was still smiling. "Where was I? Oh…if you look at the far right end of my closet, there's a garment bag with a couple of pairs of jeans and a shirt and a sweater…and some girly stuff in the back of my underwear drawer. Top drawer on the left," he told her, pointing toward a chest of drawers. "I checked sizes about a month ago while I was waiting for you to shower at your apartment."

"You went through my stuff?" she exclaimed, giving him a reprimanding shove in the chest.

"Not much of it," he grinned, "just enough to know what would fit. And just the stuff in the laundry basket you left in your kitchen. And I didn't show any of it to Mother or Alexis, so they'll never know. Did I remember to tell you…last night…best night of my life!" He flopped contentedly back on his pillow, hands behind his head as he watched Kate smile broadly and get up to walk into the huge, to-die-for closet. "You're not running away yet," he observed a little more seriously. "Best morning, too," he added as she came back with a pair of jeans and the sweater.

She smiled at his comment, rather impressed with the not-running-away aspect of her behavior herself, although she had to admit to herself that had been her first instinct. She plundered in the back of his underwear drawer for the girly stuff he mentioned, and finding two sets of bras and panties, she chose one of the two. "Really, Rick?" she observed, raising an eyebrow and holding up the skimpy little panties. "And in your underwear drawer?"

"A man's gotta dream," he answered with an unapologetic grin.

She then held up the sweater and jeans and made up for her teasing with, "I like it. Great taste, Castle. That sure of yourself, were you?" Kate stopped teasing and threw her new clothes on the foot of the bed, then she threw herself in next to Castle and kissed him soundly. "Best night of my life, too...Writer-man."

"Ooooo, I've been promoted!"

"I'd tell you what a well-deserved promotion it was, but I might never hear the end of it."

He chuckled and kissed her again before she reluctantly pushed herself away and picked up her clothes.

"Do you need the bathroom before I take a shower?"

"There's a guest bath out there," he answered. "I'll get things together for breakfast." He found his pajama bottoms, pulled them on, and got up to pull her to him for one more kiss. "I like waking up with you," he told her, nuzzling the side of her neck and peppering it with little kisses.

"Rick…" she moaned, pushing away without being very convincing.

"I know, I know. Alexis…work…" Swatting her bottom as he pushed her in the direction of the shower, he instantly realized he was pushing his luck and was relieved when she didn't seem to mind.

They parted ways, and a very happy Castle grabbed his T-shirt and pulled it on before he quietly got out what he'd need for breakfast, deciding to wait to start the coffee until after he heard the shower stop. It warmed his heart that Kate seemed to want Alexis to have a respectable image of their relationship, but he knew his daughter would be happy for them. Last night, and the not running away this morning...those were major steps forward.

After he heard not only the shower, but also the hair dryer stop, he decided it was safe to start the coffee. He was all for whatever would make Kate more comfortable about the "morning after," because he was definitely planning on more nights with Kate Beckett. He started the coffee and was working on the bacon and eggs when Kate walked in wearing her high-heeled boots with the new, close fitting jeans and the red cowl-necked cashmere sweater he had chosen for her.

He made a low, breathy sound followed by, "I did _good_!"

"Yeah, you did," she answered, striking a couple of poses. "So you think it looks okay?"

He stood staring, not answering.

"You're gonna burn the eggs, Writer-man," she teased, enjoying her power to bring his mind to a stand-still. "Focus."

"Right. Eggs." He went back to scrambling eggs and watching bacon, dropped some bread in the toaster, and asked as casually as possible, "So you're wearing the skimpy little…"

"Not much choice, huh?"

"Yes!" he whispered like a ten year old, and enjoyed hearing her laugh.

"What can I do to help?"

"Get out the dishes. It's almost ready."

Kate had been right. While she was getting the table set, Alexis appeared at the top of the stairs, saying, "Mmmmm…the coffee smells great."

"What? The bacon and eggs didn't impress you?"

"Maybe after the coffee wakes me up. Kate? You're here early."

"Got to be at the precinct before long. Your Dad's going, too…assuming he gets dressed sometime soon. You know how he is…had to be sure I ate."

"Is there enough for me?" Alexis asked hopefully, pouring herself some coffee.

"Just added more eggs," he answered. "And you're still a growing girl, young lady. Get some juice to balance that coffee."

"Yes, sir." She rolled her eyes. "He's always like this," Alexis mock complained to Beckett. When he loves somebody, he always wants to take care of them. Just can't help himself."

Castle looked up from the eggs, and Kate smiled.

They sat down to eat, and Castle wolfed down his breakfast so he had time to shower, reluctantly leaving Kate with Alexis.

"Nice sweater. The color looks great on you. Was it a Christmas gift?"

"Yes," she answered, smiling. "I like it, too."

"I like seeing you here in the morning," Alexis said shyly. "As far as I'm concerned, you can call the loft home anytime you're ready. Dad's been ready for a while, now."

Kate had to fight to keep from choking on her coffee. She was worried about Alexis seeing her leaving Castle's room, and the girl was practically inviting her to move in.

"He'd be down on one knee with a ring if he thought you were ready for that. He really loves you, Kate. I've never seen him like this before. There hasn't been anybody else since that summer with Gina, and he wasn't even that excited about it when they were together, like she was a consolation prize or something. I thought he was going to ask you to come with us, and I was so disappointed to see Gina. I was really glad that didn't work out. It's better without her."

"But you're okay with me?"

"You're good for each other. Who should argue with that? Okay, sorry. I'm officially talking too much. I kind of babble when I'm not awake yet," Alexis said sheepishly.

"It's all right. At least you're saying pleasant things."

They ate the rest of their breakfast in an amazingly comfortable silence, considering the subject matter of their conversation, giving each of them a chance to think about possibilities.

Alexis finally broke the silence. "I didn't mean to be getting into your business like that, honest; but I love having you around. So does Grams. You feel like family."

Kate covered Alexis' hand with hers. "Thank you for that, Alexis. It means a lot to me."

"Are you ladies behaving?" Castle asked, walking in fully dressed and depositing a gift bag on the couch, along with his jacket. "Ready, Detective?" He picked his coffee up from where he had left it on the stove's warmer and took a sip.

"I'll get my coat."

Alexis stood and hugged her dad, turned to Kate, hesitated briefly, then hugged her, too.

"Never worry about whether to hug me," Kate told her softly. "And thanks for the breakfast conversation." She let her hand slide quickly down to Alexis' hand and squeezed it in reassurance.

Alexis smiled and sat back down to finish her toast. She waved at them from the table as they put on their coats and left.

While they waited for the elevator, Castle asked, "Think we got away with it?"

"I don't know…but I think she believed I just got there. She loved the sweater, by the way. Thank you for thinking of a change of clothes. Not many men would."

"Speaking of clothes, these are yesterday's," he told her, handing her the gift bag. "No evidence left behind."

Kate laughed and thanked him. "After all that worry, your daughter pretty much told me I was welcome to move in any time. I love your family, but I never know what to expect."

Castle chuckled. "We've always been a little unorthodox," he agreed. "She never ceases to amaze me, either. She's right, though. Any time you're ready."

"I'm not…not yet. Maybe… Elevator," she pointed out when it dinged.

"Sometime soon, I hope," he answered as the doors closed. "I could definitely get used to waking up with Katherine Beckett. Best…Christmas…ever," he said, between his words

kissing each side of her jaw, and then her lips.

The doors opened at that point, and they walked out to his SUV. "Look at this. I get to drive," he said, opening the passenger door for her; and for once, she didn't argue.

As they sat a red light about four blocks from the precinct, she said, "If we come in together this morning, there's going to be gossip. I loved every minute of last night, but I don't know if I'm ready for all the teasing. Besides, I'd like it to be ours for a little while. You won't say anything, will you?"

"No," he assured her. "That might have been the old me. Grown-up Rick can keep his mouth shut. Last night was, and will always be, just for us."

"Thank you." She dropped her head for a moment, then put her hand on his thigh, stroking it with her thumb as she looked up at him through her lashes, almost shyly. "I think last night was the first time there was more to it than sex, more than just being close."

"My God, Kate! You tell me something like that right before we get to where I can't talk about it and can't touch you all day! All I want to do right now is hold you close and tell you how good it makes me feel to hear that, and drag you back to… You're going to be the death of me, woman!" Horns started blowing behind him as he was still bouncing his forehead against the steering wheel when the light changed. "Horns…how appropriate," he grumbled, lifting his head and taking his foot off the brake.

"I'll make it up to you. I promise."

"Promise? When?"

"After work. Take-out dinner at my apartment, and you go home much later?"

"And you model the skimpy little…"

"Castle!"

"Okay. Deal. But today won't be easy."

"No it won't," she agreed. "I'm getting out at this corner. I'll walk the rest of the way, and you can stop and get coffee. That should be enough time to throw them off."

"We can't keep this up forever, you know."

"I know. Humor me for just a week or so? Okay? All this openness and honesty and being close is doing a number on me."

He laughed softly and gave her that look that made her feel warm and tingly inside.

"I can do that."

"Save that look for tonight. Turn that one on me at work, and I won't get anything done…nothing...nada."

"Beckett…" he whined. "All day ahead of us, and you keep saying things that…."

The creeping traffic reached the next corner as the light turned red, and Kate quickly got out of the vehicle. "See you in a few." She turned serious for a moment. "I don't know how you manage to be so patient with me, Castle. Thank you," she said softly, then closed the door and was half a block away before the light changed.

He mumbled about patience and coffee and gossip all the way to a parking garage near the precinct and left his car to walk to the coffee shop.

xxxxx

Beckett was at her desk when the ding of the elevator announced Castle's arrival. With memories of the night before thoroughly distracting her, she was more than ready for the coffee he brought her. She needed to focus.

He walked out of the elevator with coffee in each hand and heard "'Mornin', bro'." from Esposito.

"Hey," he answered, raising one of the cups toward Javier in greeting.

"Good morning, Detective." He plopped down in the chair beside Beckett and sat her coffee on the corner of the desk. "Did you have a good Christmas?"

"The best," she answered quietly, not looking directly at him for fear of giving the entire bullpen an idea of what that meant.

"I thought you could use this by now," he said pointedly, sliding the cup over next to the file he could see she wasn't working too hard on.

She grabbed the cup quickly and closed her eyes in pleasure, bringing back Castle's need to drag her off to the nearest interrogation room…or broom closet and bar the door. Then she took a small piece of memo paper, placed it on the papers in the folder, wrote something on it, and slid it over to Castle's corner of the desk.

He looked down as nonchalantly as he could and read, "I love you."

He groaned quietly, trying to keep his face composed. "Years I've waited, and you tell me now…in public…in a room full of people…on a little piece of note paper? Seriously, Kate, you're killing me. All day before I can do anything about this. I can't even hold your hand, which is _soooooo_ much less than what I want to do."

"What? I thought it was kind of romantic…like passing notes at school."

He rolled his eyes and leaned slightly toward her, close enough no one could hear them. "Well, on the one hand, it's almost as good as hearing it…maybe whispered in my ear in bed…nak..."

"Kate put her hand up to her mouth to hide the escaping telltale smile she couldn't control and cleared her throat and coughed a couple of times to cover her action.

"On the other hand," Castle continued, "it might be better. Now I have it in writing." He leaned back in his chair, looking smug and putting his arm on the desk with his hand over the note so he could easily palm it and tuck it away inconspicuously. "Just remember, Detective, two can play at this game." He gave her his well-practiced eyebrow wiggle. "If you want to keep this quiet, you'd better be more careful." With that, he slipped the little note off the desk, read it once more and smiled, then he folded it once and put it in his coat pocket.

Shortly after that exchange, Ryan appeared with an address, announcing that there was a body. With no small amount of guilt for it, they were both thankful for the distraction. Castle and Beckett grabbed their coats and followed the boys to the elevator. It was going to be a very long day.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The woman's body was found in the alley behind an apartment building, lying near the trash cans close to the back door. The four detectives arrived together, ducking under the crime scene tape and checking with the uniforms for information.

"Doesn't look like Lanie's here yet," Beckett observed as she and Castle approached the body.

"She was hit on the head by something pretty heavy," Castle said, leaning down far enough to see part of a bad head wound and glancing around for something that could have been the weapon.

"I'd say that wound on the side of her head makes that a good bet."

"Doesn't look like she was dressed to be outside in this weather."

"Maybe she was running away from somebody. Ryan, check with the building super…anybody who might have been working in this area this morning," Beckett ordered. "Esposito, get one of the uniforms and check with the neighbors. See if anybody saw or heard anything."

"On it," Esposito answered, and the boys moved into action just as Lanie came into the alley.

"Geez, this place stinks," Lanie blustered. "It just never gets any better." Putting things down and opening her kit, she talked as she checked the body. "Castle, you got money and a nice apartment…and a nice warm bed you could be in. Tell me again what your ass is doing out here in a cold, dirty, smelly alley this morning.

"She's got a point…not that I'm trying to get rid of you or anything, but you don't have to be here."

Since he was standing behind Lanie and she wouldn't see, Castle caught Beckett's eye, reached in his pocket and took out the little piece of folded note paper. He held the note between the tips of two fingers and waved it at her, raising his eyebrows meaningfully before he put it back and patted his pocket.

Kate got the message and couldn't fight back a big smile as she heard him say, for Lanie's benefit, "Just trying to do some good, I guess." She knew there was more truth to his words than he would admit, but she'd rather think about his message to her.

"Yeah, well I think you're crazy," Lanie countered, hunching over in the cold, "but you can stay if you want to."

"Thanks…I think," he answered, wandering off to look around the alley.

Beckett took the area around the victim. "There's blood on this piece of cinder block. You think that's the weapon, Lanie?"

She looked toward where Beckett pointed. "I don't see anything other than the head wound yet…and some abrasions, probably from the pavement. Judging from the wound, it's about the right size. We'll get somebody to bag it, and I'll check.

Ryan and Esposito returned. A notebook was in Ryan's hand, but Esposito did the talking.

"One couple, neighbors a few doors down, heard what sounded like a loud argument about two hours ago, a man and a woman, but didn't hear the actual conversation. Part of it might have been something about a new job, but they couldn't be sure."

Ryan took over then. "We didn't find the super. The neighbors said he's married. Door to his apartment was open, but no one was there. Pictures in the living room look a lot like the victim."

"Okay." Beckett answered, taking one more look around. "Let's have a look at the apartment."

There was a broken coffee cup in the floor, well shattered, a small amount of coffee splattered on the floor around it; but other than that, the apartment showed no sign of trouble. Ryan was right about the pictures. They were almost certainly pictures of the woman lying in the alley.

As they were leaving, a man who appeared to be in his mid-thirties walked in. "What are you doing in my apartment?" he demanded. "What's going on?"

"NYPD," Kate told him, showing him her badge. "May I assume you're the building super?"

"Right. That's me. Sean Morrisette," he answered, looking around and running both hands through his hair in frustration. "What's this about? Where's my wife?"

"Sir, did you and your wife have an argument this morning…about two hours ago?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

"And when was the last time you saw her?"

"Right after the argument. Why are you asking me all these questions? Is Sandy okay?"

"Mr. Morrisette, a woman was found in the alley earlier. She looks a lot like the woman in these photos. Where was your wife when you last saw her?"

"She was coming out after me when I left."

"And do you remember what she was wearing?"

"Ummm…jeans and a light blue sweater…sneakers, I think. Did something happen to her? Is she hurt?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but the woman we found was deceased. The clothing matches your description."

"Oh, God." The man melted into a chair, his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. "And the last thing she remembered was me walking away mad."

"I know this is hard, Mr. Morrisette, but I need you tell me everything you can about what happened this morning. We're with the homicide division, and we're going to have to ask questions."

"You think I would hurt her?" he exclaimed incredulously, his head snapping up in surprise. "I love her. I've never laid a hand on her. We were both so angry this morning…." He drooped back against the chair. "And I just…I just walked away."

"Sir, we really need to know what happened," Kate said gently as she sat down in a chair near his.

"My brother lives upstate. He told me a new apartment complex was hiring, looking for a supervisor for the complex. I'd have a staff of a few others working under me…wouldn't have to be on call all the time. If you live on site, they comp you an apartment, a bigger one than this. We needed a bigger place. Sandy was pregnant. She saw her doctor last week, and she was about six weeks along. Oh, god…. The baby, too," he moaned miserably. "What have I done?" He sat staring at the ceiling and ran both hands through his hair again, holding the back of his head.

"Do you need a break?" Kate asked.

No. Let me get this over with," he answered, plowing ahead. "I wanted to surprise her, so I suggested we drive up for the day and visit my brother…a holiday visit." He lowered his head, rested his forearms on his knees, and looked at the floor. "I left Sandy with his wife - they get along real well – and my brother drove me to the interview and waited for me. We pretended we'd done some unsuccessful Christmas shopping, and later Sandy and I came back home. I got a call on Christmas Eve saying I had the job, so I told Sandy about it Christmas night. She wasn't happy, didn't want to leave her family and friends…the city. She'd lived here all her life. We agreed to sleep on it and talk about it this morning, but it didn't go well this morning. She said I should have let her help make the decision, not uproot her and move her with no warning. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't be happy about more pay, more room, and more time for me to help with the baby. Neither one of us would give in. I walked out of the apartment, took the stairs, and left through the service entrance in the back. She came after me, following me down the stairs and outside. She was calling me to come back, but I kept walking faster, didn't even look back. I needed to blow off some steam, you know? The alley isn't that long. By the time I reached the street, the traffic was loud enough I couldn't hear her any more. I thought she'd given up and gone back inside. I walked for a while, then came back home. I guess you know the rest."

"You'll need to write down the route you took on your walk and give it to Officer Ryan over here, she instructed, indicating Kevin's position. "Mention anyone who would have noticed you. We'll need to corroborate your story so we can eliminate you as a suspect."

"Sure. I got some paper here somewhere." He got up and scouted through a drawer for a note pad, then grabbed a pencil from a cup on the counter. You gotta believe me. I'd never hurt her." After scribbling something on the note pad with a shaky hand, he asked, "What happened to her? Can I see her?"

"We don't know yet, but we'll keep you apprised as to what we find. We have a team processing the area, so you can't get too close, but it would help to have a positive identification."

"I understand," he answered, looking miserably defeated. "Thanks."

They all went to stand in the doorway of the service entrance, and the tears finally couldn't be denied. When Morrisette saw his wife, he threw his head back, leaned his head on his arm against the door casing and quietly sobbed.

"Would you like someone to walk you back up?" Kate asked.

"No. I'll get there on my own."

Looking at Esposito and Ryan, Beckett said quietly, "See if they've got anything for us yet."

"Sure," Esposito answered.

Castle shook Morrisette's hand and said, I'm sorry for your loss," adding a masculine sort of pat/clasp with his other hand, as if in sympathy. Morrisette thanked him and trudged up the stairs.

"What was that?" Kate asked.

"I feel sorry for him. I don't think he did it."

"I'll wait on that decision until we hear more from Lanie." She stopped, looking thoughtful. "Give me a minute with Lanie. The ones with a pregnancy always give her a hard time. Wouldn't hurt to give her a heads up. Then we'll take another look around."

Castle walked toward the back of the alley behind the body looking for anything unusual. When he turned as he heard Beckett approaching him, he suddenly seemed a little off balance, but she caught him before he could fall.

Lanie caught the action out of the corner of her eye, looked up and threatened, "You fall on my body here, writer-boy, I may have to kill you, too."

"Sorry. I slipped on something. I don't even want to think about what. And I keep telling you, it's Writer-man."

Kate gave his arm a little squeeze in agreement while she still had the excuse of being sure he had regained his footing.

They took another look around the alley and spoke to everyone working on the crime scene. Deciding they had all the information available at the time, Beckett turned to Castle and said, "Let's go."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Most of the morning had been spent at the crime scene, and they were both ready to be someplace warmer. Once they were in the car, out of the smelly alley and enjoying the heat blowing on them as the engine warmed, they realized they were hungry. The crime scene had distracted them from each other, but now they were alone again. Castle gave Beckett directions to a little mom and pop diner where he knew the food was good and they could find a booth that would offer them at least some minimal privacy. He needed to touch her…just hold her hand, drape an arm around her shoulder…something.

She parked about half a block from the restaurant, and they walked quickly toward it, clutching their coats close to them.

"Rick!" a booming voice called out as they entered the wonderfully warm room, and a heavy-set man who looked to be around sixty came toward them to grab Castle's hand and shake it enthusiastically. "It's been a while. You gettin' too high-class for us these days?"

"Good to see you, too, David. I brought Detective Beckett to sample your fine cuisine," Castle answered as he was grabbed into one of those back-slapping man hugs."

"We'll try to impress her," David laughed. "Tess, come see who the cat dragged in!"

Tess came out and gave him a hug and an equally warm greeting, and he introduced Kate.

"Can we have that booth in the back…the one Alexis and I usually use?"

"Looks like it's sittin' there waitin' for you," the man answered with a jovial smile. "Go on. I'll be over in a second with some menus. Want somethin' to drink?"

"How about some big mugs of your hot chocolate? It's cold out there."

"Comin' right up. Some for you, too, young lady?"

"Sounds great," Beckett answered, smiling back as she took off her gloves and unbuttoned her coat.

Castle put his hand at the small of her back to guide her to the booth and sighed. Even if it was through her coat, he had a hand on her. When they reached the booth, he sat on the same side she was on. With the tall backs on the booths, they could hardly be seen by other customers, and he scooted closer to her, taking her hand. "I didn't think I was going to find a way to touch you again before tonight," he said in relief. "It feels good." He stole a quick kiss before David came with the hot chocolate and menus.

"Order anything. It's all good," he informed her. "Alexis and I have tried everything."

"What's your favorite," she asked, and he pointed to an item on the menu. "That does sound good," she agreed. Two of those?"

Seeing Castle nod, David said, "Comin' right up." He looked at the two younger folks sitting on the same side of the booth, well out of sight, and smiled to himself before he went to put in the order.

While they waited, Castle put his arm around Kate's shoulder and pulled her closer to him, brushing a kiss on her brow, then moving to her lips. She sighed and leaned against him as they sipped the warm drinks, both of them counting the hours until they could go home.

They finished their lunch and stopped at the counter to pay the check and say good-bye to the owner and his wife. "I don't think I ever saw you here with anybody but Alexis," David teased as they put their coats on.

"Maybe we'll bring her along next time," Castle answered.

When Kate headed for the door ahead of Castle, David said, "This one must be a keeper."

"Oh, yeah," Castle agreed with a big smile.

"Well, it's about time!" David slapped him on the back and added as he watched Kate turn to see if Rick was behind her, "What are you waitin' for, boy? Don't let her get away."

"Not a chance," Rick assured him as they left.

"I thought we were going to keep this to ourselves," Kate reprimanded half-heartedly as they hurried back to the car.

"What's the chance anybody we know will be in there asking questions? And I'm not telling anybody about last night"

She rolled her eyes at his logic as they quickly got into the car.

"If you're not careful, I may have to tell my father you broke the Dad Code."

"I what?"

"Well, if I remember correctly, you…a father…promised another father that you'd get his daughter home safely, and…"

He flung his head back against the head rest and rolled his eyes upward. "And instead, I kept her and took her to bed with me. I sooooo broke the code. You won't tell him, will you? I don't like facing loaded shotguns."

"Are you kidding? Talk to my father about last night? Besides, I don't intend to kiss and tell, either. Last night is ours...just us." She looked over at him quickly but meaningfully, and he reached to put his hand on her thigh as she drove them back. They sat that way in comfortable silence until they reached the precinct.

xxxxx

Ryan and Esposito were returning from lunch about the same time Castle and Beckett came in, and they all regrouped and started putting together the murder board.

"The husband is all we got so far," Esposito offered, "but I don't see him hurting her."

"Me, either," Castle added.

"We'll see what turns up…lab and autopsy results," Kate stated, back in detective Beckett mode. "Check on insurance on the wife, financials, the new job…did we get the name of the place he said was hiring him? Get some uniforms checking the route he said he took this morning. See if anybody saw him. Check with the neighbors about how he and his wife got along.

"Already did before we left," Ryan chimed in. "No indication of trouble except for the argument this morning.

"Well, somebody killed her," Beckett observed.

"Looking at the photos of the crime scene, Ryan asked, "What's this?" pointing to a smear on the pavement not far from the body.

"Castle, is that where your foot slipped? I thought…" Beckett asked.

"No," Castle answered, interrupting. "I was farther in that direction," he clarified, digging through a few more photos. "There. These were taken before I slipped, but I'm pretty sure I left a smear a lot like that one."

"Do we have anything here that shows the bottom of her shoe?" she asked as she looked through the photos with Castle, the boys looking over their shoulders to see what they were talking about.

"I don't see anything," Castle said, sounding disappointed. "This might not be murder."

"There was blood on that piece of cinder block," Beckett said speculatively.

"She could have slipped and hit her head," they said simultaneously.

"So we still check into all this stuff, right?" Esposito questioned.

"Yeah. We have to eliminate any other possibility." Turning to Castle, she said, "Lanie should still have the personal effects. Let's go see if she can shed some light on those shoes…and get another look at that cinder block." Turning back to the boys, she added, "See what you can get from everything else. We'll be back as soon as we can."

They went their separate ways, the boys dividing up the jobs as they returned to their desks.

xxxxx

"Hey Lanie," Beckett called as she and Castle entered the morgue.

"No, I don't have anything on the new one yet."

"Do you have all the personal effects?"

"That I can give you," she answered as she stripped off her gloves and washed her hands. What do you need?"

"The shoes."

"How come?" She found the plastic bag with the shoes and handed it to Beckett.

"We think there's the chance she slipped and fell…hit her head on the cinder block. Is the block still with you?"

"Right over there," she said, pointing at the bag. "The lab techs took blood samples and let me hold on to it to see if it matched the head wound. Just don't touch it yet, in case they need something else."

"Look at the bottom of this shoe. There's something smeared across the sole," Castle pointed out. "What about the cinder block? Anything there?"

"The bottom of this thing looks like it was sitting in the same place for at least a few days. No obvious prints in the dirt on the bottom. Doesn't look like the underside of it has been disturbed at all. I doubt anybody picked this up and hit her with it."

"I don't remember any pictures without the cinder block. Do we need to go back and take another look?"

"As much as I don't want to go out in the cold again, I guess we should. That would shore up the accident theory for the captain. She's going to want something before we go home." She put the bagged cinder block back where it was and turned to Castle.

"Before 'we go home,' did you say?" Lanie interrupted. "You two got something to tell me?" She asked pointedly as she pulled on a fresh pair of gloves.

"Before we leave this afternoon, Dr. Parrish. Don't go jumping to conclusions," Castle answered quickly.

"Well, somebody better keep me in the loop when that happens," Lanie said in Beckett's direction.

Beckett rolled her eyes and said, "Let's go, Castle."

"Before she starts naming our children?" he agreed with a chuckle as they headed for the door.

"I heard that. And don't think there won't be questions," she called over her shoulder as they rounded the doorway into the hall.

They laughed as they left, this time unfazed by Lanie's speculations. The two of them went back to the crime scene, took a couple of pictures and returned to the precinct to add them to the murder board. As expected, Gates wanted an update, so they showed her what they had found.

Closing out her report, Beckett said, "The smears here, where Castle slipped, and here, near where she was lying, are nearly identical. The one near the body is just longer. There's some sort of residue on the bottom of her left shoe. It doesn't look like the cinder block had been disturbed for a while, so it's not likely that anyone picked it up to use as a weapon. Ryan and Esposito are checking the husband's alibi, phone records, financials, and a couple of other things. It's looking more like an accident all the time.

"Well, don't call it that until we're certain it isn't more. Sure would be nice to think a husband wouldn't murder his wife and baby the day after Christmas, though. Looks like that's about all we can do with this for today. It's almost five. Type up what you've got, and go home."

"Yes, sir."

Castle plopped down in the chair beside the desk and demanded, "Type fast."

Beckett chuckled. "Like the wind," she agreed. "Go get us some coffee before you get too excited and give us away. And take your time. I'll probably type faster if you aren't sitting there watching me."

"Whatever helps," he answered, getting up to get the coffee. He put one hand on the back of her chair and one on the desk, as if looking over her shoulder at the computer, and whispered, his breath warm near her ear, "I need you behind closed doors."

"You're so _not_ helping," she answered, conscientiously stifling a little moan that she suspected would have had his lips on hers in a matter of nano-seconds.

Castle returned with coffee, and Beckett was about halfway through what Gates wanted before they left. Doing his best not to distract her, he took out his phone and played Angry Birds while she worked, for once not watching her or talking…at all.

"Done!" Beckett announced, saved her work, and sent it to Gates. She walked to the captain's door to let her know she was leaving. "You should have it in a few seconds, Captain. Anything else before I go?"

The captain checked to see that she had the document and told Beckett, "Just be sure your shadow there goes, too. We will not be entertaining him this evening."

"Yes, sir." Kate gave her a half smile. "I'll see to it." She walked back to her desk slowly enough to both drive Castle crazy and to not let Gates see that she could hardly wait to get him out of there.

He was standing by her chair when she returned, holding her jacket like a perfect gentleman while whispering some very ungentlemanly suggestions behind her.

"Let's go," she said in her Detective Beckett voice, for the benefit of those left in the bullpen. As the doors opened, she reminded him that there were cameras in the elevator; but after the doors closed, she took his hand between them as they rode down.

Gates had been watching them speculatively from her office window before they left, wondering again what was really going on between them. Whatever was there, other than police work, she had to grudgingly admit that they were effective working together. During the sniper case, she found herself working with Castle; and he was as focused and efficient as any of her detectives. And he…and his daughter, of all people…yet another Castle…had found the breakthrough painting to provide some of their best leads. He would have made a good detective. Of course, she couldn't tell him that. It stuck in her craw that she had to deal with a _civilian_ in her unit...a civilian she was required to take because another _civilian_ ordered it. To her that smacked of a lack of control, and she did not like lack of control on her own turf. Therefore, she couldn't allow herself to like Castle, which was getting more difficult. And if there was anything beyond work going on between her detective and the civilian, what should she do about it? The whole situation made her mad. Why couldn't he be bumbling and stupid, and a danger to her detectives, the way she expected him to be? That would have given her an argument to use with the powers that be. But, no...damn him. He had to be dependable, smart, intuitive, and ready to risk his life for her real officers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Reaching the sidewalk, they had the excuse of the cold weather to allow them to run across the street to get to the garage where Castle had parked that morning. He grabbed her hand as they disappeared into the parking garage and held on until they reached his SUV, where they got in and he pulled her to him for a devastating kiss.

"Take me home…now," she ordered. "I'll order pizza on the way so it gets there by the time we do and we don't have to worry about interruptions."

"Oh, I like this layer of Beckett. Can't wait to get your hands on me, detective?

"Shut up and drive, Castle."

"Yes ma'am."

Castle drove, Beckett ordered pizza, and they rushed from Castle's parked car into her apartment building and up the stairs, not willing to wait for the elevator or to share their time with anyone else. By the time she opened the door and let them in, he was closing it by pushing her up against it, kissing her hard and pushing/pulling their bodies as close as he could get them. And then there was a knock at the door behind them. They looked at one another, breathing hard and trying to pull themselves back from the much more desirable place they had been distracted from.

"Okay, this was the plan, right? Pizza guy as soon as we get here, and the whole evening free of interruptions?" she whispered raggedly.

"He dropped his forehead to hers and managed to strangle out, "It seemed like a much better idea at the time."

"Two minutes, tops. Then you're mine."

He quickly kissed her again and straightened up. Taking a deep breath, he pulled his wallet from his pocket, and shooed Kate away from the door. About that time there was another knock, and he growled. After a second deep breath, he straightened his coat and opened the door with the closest thing he could manage to a smile, paid the young man for the pizza, and dramatically locked the door.

The pizza went on the counter, his coat flew over to the sofa, and he advanced on Kate, whose coat was already on the hook by the door. She backed toward the bedroom with a "Come and get me" look and a laugh, and he followed her, losing clothing as he moved, helping her remove parts of hers that weren't already strewn across the floor when he got close enough.

"Wait," he ordered when her jeans were kicked out of the way. "You promised to make it up to me. I want to see the skimpy little…" He stopped, speechless, as she turned to face him, hands on her hips, then slowly turned her back to him.

"Does it do your dreams justice, Writer-man?"

"Way better than my imagination," he answered in that sultry voice that did wicked things to her own imagination. Then, even better, he hooked his fingers at the edges and removed them, setting off another frenzy of frantic kisses wherever they could reach, and removal of anything else that might be a barrier between them.

He snatched the covers back, and they tumbled into the bed. The impatient lust after the day of trying to hide it from everybody was in stark contrast, but equal in intensity, to the quiet, patient loving of the night before. At the end, no less loving but much more aggressive.

"That was… I don't think I have the words," he said through uneven breaths.

"Writer with no words?" she answered, her breathing not any better than his. "Thinking with something other than your brain again?" She felt his laugh rumble through her and found it highly erotic.

"You have a way of doing that to me. It's so not fair. Sometimes all you have to do is stand there, all gorgeous and sexy, and my brain just shuts down…but this…. He had interspersed his words with little kisses and nips, but his words ended in a growling sort of moan, and he pressed himself against her before he dropped his full weight on her.

She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck, and he rolled them over so she was on top and he didn't feel he was crushing her. Besides, when she was on top, his hands had no duty to hold him up, and he could play.

After some teasing back and forth, both verbally and otherwise, she observed, "You're not thinking with your brain again."

"Is that okay?" his voice vibrated against her neck.

She showed him rather than told him that it was more than okay. This time was somewhere between lust and patience and left them warm and satisfied. They stayed together for a few minutes afterward, recovering and savoring, then moved to their sides, facing one another, bodies close and arms and legs draped around the other.

"I'm going to have to start saying things…maybe asking things you may not be ready to hear."

"Is it okay if I'm not ready to answer them yet?"

"You said you trust me. You're showing me that you do. You're talking to me…not running away. That's enough for now. I love you, Kate. I want to spend my life loving you...long enough to have a family…grandchildren…maybe great-grandchildren. We'll get there…together." He kissed her once more and reluctantly told her he should get ready to leave. "I told Alexis I'd be home about eight-thirty. I know you may not be ready for all this, but you need to know what I'm waiting for. And I need to talk to her about us. Not about this. About how much I want you to be a Castle along with her. This affects her, too. She needs to know where things stand."

"I think she has a good idea of that already. She said she tends to babble a lot when she isn't quite awake."

"So she babbled about us this morning?"

"Yeah, you could say that," Kate answered with a chuckle.

"Sorry."

"She only babbled good things, if that helps."

He chuckled, too…relieved. "That helps. I've been there for a lot of babbling." He caressed Kate's cheek again, then leaned in and kissed it. We could use a shower, and probably some sustenance."

"It's a little after seven. If I get in that shower with you, you'll be lucky to get home by _ten_ thirty. You take a shower, and I'll go heat the pizza…while I imagine you in there all naked and soapy and…"

"You are a wicked woman, Kate Beckett," he groaned, and kissed her again before he dragged himself away from the warmth of her body and into her bathroom.

She laughed, and stretched, and watched him until he closed the door; then she fought the urge to join him, pulled on some yoga pants and a T-shirt, and smiled her way into the kitchen.

By the time he emerged, fully dressed, she had warm pizza and cold wine waiting for him.

He wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her temple. "I love you."

"Mmmmmmm…that feels so good," she moaned, lowering her head. "Rick…"

"I know," he answered with a reassuring squeeze, "I have it in writing."

She turned to look at him and stroke his cheek with her fingers. "Thank you. I'll catch up with you soon. I'm going as fast as I can."

"I know that, too." He leaned and kissed her forehead, then her lips.

"If you're going to be home on time, you need to eat. And the pizza's getting cold."

"Can't have that," he answered, settling himself in a chair at the table.

She pulled her chair close to him so their legs touched lightly under the table; and they ate as they playfully glanced at each other and bumped knees, elbows, or shoulders now and then, content just to be close, and finally comfortable about it.

When Castle left, Kate looked around her apartment, suddenly feeling that it was empty and almost foreign. His presence was what had made it feel so warm. Being in his arms felt like she had finally landed where she was meant to be. Saying things out loud was hard for her. She hadn't said those words to any of her boyfriends…because she had never felt this way before. She could write it on a stupid little piece of note paper. Why couldn't she bring herself to say out loud what he deserved to hear?

xxxxx

When Castle got home, Alexis was in the kitchen making herself tea.

"Hey, Dad. Working late on a case?"

"No. I went home with Kate. We ordered pizza."

"And?"

"We had some things to work out."

"Did you get them worked out?" she asked, setting her tea on the table and pulling out a chair..

"Yes, oh nosy one," he answered, and he smiled and put an arm around her shoulders to pull her over and kiss the top of her head.

"Great. She's good for you," she said as she sat down, "but it sure has taken long enough for it to happen."

He sat, resting his arms on the tabletop, and picked up a stray paperclip to play with as he talked. "Yeah. I think we're good for each other. And you have to understand that young love is different. Adults have been around long enough to be aware of all the things that can go wrong. When you've been hurt, it makes you more cautious."

"Is she going to move in with us?"

"That's what I want to talk to you about. All this affects you, too."

"Dad, I love having Kate here. You won't hear any objections from me. Whatever it is about this weird relationship of yours, it's been making you happy lately. I like seeing you happy."

"I don't want Kate to just move in. I want to marry her. I want her to be part of our family…have children with her…get old with her."

"Have you asked her? Is that what you worked out tonight?" she asked hopefully.

"It isn't that easy. She's not ready for that yet, but I'm sure now that we'll get there."

"I don't understand. If you love each other…and anybody paying any attention at all can see that you do…why can't she just say yes and marry you?"

"It's complicated. Kate started with a life like yours…maybe better…two parents who were there for her all the time. She had a nearly perfect, very normal childhood. When her mother was killed, it damaged a part of her, and she didn't know how to repair it. It changed her. I know how much you like Jim…so do I, but when Johanna Beckett died, it damaged a part of him, too. When Kate went back to college, he dealt with it by turning to alcohol. He's overcome it admirably; but when Kate was nineteen and needed him to help her grieve for her mother, she was the one who had to take care of him. She was only about a year and a half older than you and had always thought her dad would take care of her. That was the first big breach of trust she experienced. It was a rude awakening. She soon stopped trusting anybody but herself. Recently she's found that other people in her life…people she had worked with, thought she could trust…were involved with the people responsible for her mother's murder...the ones who had Kate shot. You don't go through all that and then decide your best emotional decision is to trust yourself to a guy with a playboy reputation and who's a two time failure at marriage."

"And has a teen-aged daughter?"

"That doesn't seem to be a problem for her, honey. She told me last night that she thinks she loves my daughter. She also told me she trusts me. Major steps in the right direction, don't you think?"

"She loves me, too?"

"You okay with that?"

"Yeah. It's nice. She never makes me feel like a bother. I still feel like that around Gina...sometimes even Meredith."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Dad. You made up for it."

A key rattled in the lock, and Martha burst in waving shopping bags.

"Follow me darling," she called to Alexis on her way up the stairs. "Let me show you what I bought. Some of it is for you. Hello, Richard."

Alexis rolled her eyes toward her father and whispered, "I hope it isn't too over the top this time," then she followed her grandmother up the stairs.

"Good luck," Castle chuckled. He tossed the paper clip in the trash and went into his study to write. He felt inspired.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Kate had been restless all evening. She tried to read but couldn't settle into it, so she did laundry and cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom. Nothing held her attention except Castle. Finally she gave herself a good mental talking to, put on some clothes more suitable for visiting, grabbed her coat and keys, and locked up. Not long after that, she was knocking on Castle's door and was disappointed when it was Martha who greeted her.

"Hi Martha. Is he busy?"

"I looked in on him a few minutes ago. He's writing. Fingers just flying over the keys. I haven't seen him on a streak like this in several weeks."

"Maybe I shouldn't interrupt him, then. This is his real job."

"Nonsense. If you'll forgive my intruding, I think his real job lately is to be sure the two of you are making progress."

"I know. I'm the problem, but things are going better."

Martha reached out and took Kate into a motherly hug. "Darling, we all know that, and we all see how happy that makes Richard. We're waiting for you as much as he is. I've had a couple of daughters-in-law, but except that one of them produced Alexis, I could easily live without them. You, on the other hand, I would be proud to claim."

Kate grinned, not sure why the mention of daughter-in-law in relation to her didn't send her into a major tailspin. Her arms had wrapped around Martha in response to the hug, and she gave a little extra squeeze in appreciation. "Thank you."

"I'm going to get us something to drink. Sit and talk to me for a few minutes. If my son doesn't take a break soon, we'll go and get his attention for you."

Martha came back with two glasses of wine and sat in an armchair next to Kate's. After a few minutes of pleasantries and small talk, Martha casually mentioned, "Alexis said you were here for breakfast this morning. She said she talked too much."

"Maybe a little, but it was okay. She didn't say much of anything I didn't already know…except that she doesn't mind my being with her dad. That was nice to hear."

"I got home a little after midnight, and your coat was still here…" Martha's eyes asked what her words drifted away from."

"I stayed for a while. Alexis needed to talk, asked for me, and Rick wanted to know how he could help her out. We talked about Alexis for a while, then just talked. And we needed some time to ourselves…where Alexis wouldn't… Kids don't like to see their parents…"

"Parents? Plural?"

"Parent," she said quickly. "I don't want any of you to think I'd try to replace her mother."

"Hmmphf! I'd love to see you replace her mother."

"Martha?"

"Martha's answer was only elegantly raised eyebrows above a knowing look. "Now about you and Richard…"

"I know what you're asking; but when that happens, it won't be something we announce to others. It will be something we keep and treasure…something that belongs to us."

"Sometimes I forget…" She took a deep breath. I didn't mean to embarrass you, darling. Forgive me for even broaching the subject. No offense intended, and none taken. We are an outspoken family."

"I've noticed," Kate acknowledged with a good-natured smile.

"Something else you'll have to get used to, no doubt," the older woman answered with a smile.

"Thanks Martha…for understanding."

Martha took another sip of wine, put her glass on the table, and stood. "Now, before I put the other foot in my mouth," she suggested, "why don't we go and rouse that boy of mine out of his tunnel vision. You didn't come here to talk to an aging actress, anyway." Kate stood, and Martha put her arm around Kate's shoulder to guide her to the study. After knocking on the door, she called out, "Richard you have company…lovely company."

He was so engrossed in his writing that it took a moment to register that someone had spoken to him.

"Richard? Company? Where are your manners?"

He finally looked up. "Kate! I didn't expect to see you tonight."

"Goodnight, children. I have an early day tomorrow," Martha said, and left with one of her flourishes.

"Subtle," Castle observed, watching his mother leave. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I needed to tell you something." Kate walked over to the desk chair and sat down in Castle's lap, and his arms were around her by the time she was seated. "I thought about it after you left, and I didn't want to lose my nerve."

"What is it you need to tell me?"

"I love you, Rick. You deserved more than a little piece of paper handed to you in a much too public place. I needed you to hear it…just the two of us." She cupped his cheek with one hand and kissed him softly, whispering, "I love you so much."

"Kate…." He hugged her tightly enough she wondered if she could keep breathing. Then he loosened his grip slightly and kissed her gently. Pulling back far enough to look at her, he said incredulously, "You drove all the way over here just so I could hear it? I'm …wow! This was big," he said, almost reverently. "I'm still framing that little piece of paper, though." He pulled her closer, and they sat where they were for a while, stroking shoulders and arms and faces, twining fingers, sharing soft kisses.

Finally, Kate stood and told him to get back to work. She was insistent that she should go back home. "Until tomorrow?"

"Until tomorrow, detective. I'll walk you to the door."

She loved the multitude of ways he could say the word detective. The way she had just heard it, it might as well have been pronounced sweetheart.

They lingered at the door for a few more kisses, much more controlled than the ones earlier that afternoon.

"Thank you, Kate," he whispered, giving her one more hug.

"Always," she answered with a smile, kissed his cheek, and slipped out the door to go home.

Castle smiled, letting the smile grow as he allowed himself a few steps of a little victory dance towards the stairs, where he dropped his hand on the rail and shouted at the top of his lungs, "She loves me!"

Martha and Alexis immediately came out of their rooms at the sound, almost simultaneously asking, "What?"

"She loves me," he repeated with a smile that lit up the room.

"Well, we knew that, dear," Martha drawled.

Alexis was halfway down the stairs when he said, "But she told me. She drove all the way over here just to say it. She wanted me to hear it."

"That was a huge thing for her, wasn't it? Alexis asked, stopping on the bottom step. "Saying it?"

"Yeah, it was, Pumpkin. It was a big thing for me, too. For us."

She threw her arms around his neck and squeezed him tight. "Dad, I'm so happy for you."

Martha had made it to the bottom step, too, although more sedately. "So am I, Richard," she agreed, placing a kiss on his cheek. "So am I."

xxxxx

Breezing in with two coffees the next morning, Castle slid the cup carefully in front of Beckett and plopped himself down in the chair next to her desk.

When she took a sip, she saw his eyes twinkling at her over his own cup. "You look happy this morning."

He held his cup where it would hide his words from others and said softly but confidently, "Kate loves me. She told me so. I heard it with my own ears, and it makes me happy."

She put down the coffee and gave him a big smile just as Esposito walked up.

"We found several people along the path Morrisette said he took yesterday morning who can back up his statement. Nobody in the building seems to know anybody who'd want to hurt the wife. They all seemed to like her. No insurance to speak of on her, and nothing in the financials that looked suspicious. The new job and the brother all checked out. Doesn't look like he could have done it."

"I'll call Lanie and see if she has anything yet. Thanks, Ryan."

"Sure, boss," he answered as he went back to his desk.

"I didn't think he did it," Castle said quietly.

"Neither did I, to tell the truth," Beckett admitted.

"If it was an accident, he's going to have to spend the rest of his life knowing he might have been able to save her if he'd just turned around when she called him. Hell of a thing to have to live with."

"This one got to you, didn't it? Why?"

"Because of the baby…and because that's what I'd have lived with if you hadn't made it through that shooting. If I'd left your mother's case alone…."

"Castle, I don't want to hear that again. I would have gotten back to that case sometime, with or without you. It might have happened later than it did, but the same things would have come out, and the same people would have done the same things to stop me."

"I know all that, but it would still be there…in my head. And this guy is going to have to remember that she was carrying his child, too. He's lost a lot."

Beckett reached out and put her hand on his where it rested on his crossed knee. She knew how much he loved his child. "Those people who only know you from page six don't know what they're missing," She patted his hand before anyone had time to make too much of the gesture and went back to her original mission, which was to call Lanie.

After talking to Lanie, who was suspiciously demanding a night out for drinks and information Kate wasn't ready to share yet, they went to the morgue, where she was waiting with a file of information that furthered their theory. They reported their new information to the captain and were told to close the case.

xxxxx

Castle had a dental appointment around mid-day. He had whined off and on during the morning about dentists and hating having to do mundane things; and Beckett had finally sent him off, telling him to just man up and go get his teeth cleaned. She then went back to her paperwork in peace; and after a short conversation with the boys and fielding a cranky phone call from Lanie, who wasn't happy that she had no definite answer about that girl's night out, she was sitting at her desk completing the last of the work over an hour later when the elevator dinged.

"Little Castle," Esposito called, smiling as she left the elevator. Ryan lifted a hand in acknowledgement, too.

Kate looked up and smiled as well, offering the girl her father's chair and swiveling her own chair around to face her. "Alexis. This is nice surprise."

Alexis plopped herself into the chair and stated, "I am my father's emissary. He was planning to come back, but Paula called and said he had to go and meet somebody this afternoon. My mission is to be sure you don't forget lunch. He called me when he had to detour for the meeting. Have you eaten yet?"

"No."

"That's what he thought. Can you go right now? There's a great little Italian place a couple of blocks away. I worked on a project during lunch time today, so I haven't eaten, either."

"I am getting hungry," Kate admitted, "There's no reason I can't finish this when I get back. She put her pen down, closed the file she was working on, stood and put on her coat and gloves, and, joining Alexis, left the work behind.

They walked the two blocks in the cold and gratefully found a table away from the door and the drafts of cold air that came with it. After giving their orders, they talked as they waited. Beckett complained about boring paperwork but was able to say the case had been closed quickly; and Alexis talked about a school-wide project that would happen at the end of January – a fundraiser for a children's reading program, one for which she was co-chairman.

In the midst of all that, their lunch was served, and conversation continued in fits and starts as they finished their meal.

As Alexis talked through what had been done for the fund-raiser so far, Beckett was again impressed with the girl's level of ability and maturity in such things. When she asked questions, Alexis had ready answers, complete with reasons for them if explanations were needed.

"Sometimes your Father wonders out loud how you managed to turn out so well on his watch," Beckett told her with a teasing chuckle. "How do _you_ think our man-child managed to cultivate this impressive, responsible, organized, mature young woman in front of me?"

Alexis smiled self-consciously, but appreciatively, at the detective and said, "He's more responsible than people think. He taught me problem solving from the time I was little. If something wasn't working, he'd ask me questions until I figured out why it wasn't, then I'd get questions about how to make it work. The older I got, the more intense the questions got. He had the patience of a saint. And he was so proud of me when I figured it out…made me feel proud of myself, too. He put everything he had into being sure that I had everything I needed…not necessarily everything I wanted, but every tool in life that I needed…and the best dad in the world to go with it. I love my mother…because she's my mother…but she doesn't feel like a mother…more like an aunt who visits now and then. But Dad was a good enough parent to cover for both of them. There hasn't been a single day of my life that I didn't feel loved.

Kate sat with her chin resting on one hand, her elbow on the table, enjoying listening to Little Castle across from her unabashedly speaking of her father in such glowing terms. "Has he always practiced what he preaches?"

"Mostly, she answered with a chuckle. He's a natural problem solver…which is good because now and then he creates a few of his own."

A quick, deep laugh burst from Beckett. "Tell me about it," she said, grinning.

Alexis laughed, too, before she continued. "People don't always see it unless they're in the middle of it because, given his general personality, he works more quietly than you would think. And he takes care of long term plans and responsibilities the way he works on his books. He does his research, maps out what he wants and how to get there, and then makes all the right contacts to make it happen. He's made good connections for his books, good investments…he's so much more than his public image."

"And he taught you all that?"

"He's done his best. I'm still fuzzy on a lot of the financial stuff, but I think I've figured out most of it."

"Sure sounds like it to me. He's sooo proud of you, kid."

Alexis grinned. "Yeah, I know. Sometimes it can be a little embarrassing."

"I remember that."

"Your dad, too?"

"Oh, yeah…and my mother. Double whammy."

"Did you talk to your mother a lot? Ask her about things you needed to know, watch movies, go shopping?"

"Yeah. I miss that a lot. She gave me some good advice, even if it took me a few years down the road to see the value in it."

"I'm sorry, Kate. I didn't mean…"

"It's okay. It's good for me to remember the pleasant things. Not be so caught up in the rest."

"You listen to me more than my mom ever did. Her attention span for a lot of things is pretty short. It's nice…to have somebody besides Dad who acts interested in what I say." She paused briefly, seeming to change her train of thought, and beamed at Kate. "And who makes my dad really happy. You should have seen him last night. We didn't catch his little victory dance on the way to the stairs to shout up to us, "She loves me!" but we all sooo know there had to be one, right?"

"He did that?"

"He did."

Kate smiled and shook her head. She could see it happening in her imagination. Reaching across the table, she covered Alexis' hand with hers. "I do love him, Alexis. You don't have to worry about that. He makes _me_ happy, too…and so do you. There won't be any moving backward now. I promise. We're not sure yet how fast it moves forward, but no more back tracking."

She looked down, not entirely certain she wanted to ask the next question, but the time seemed right. "Are you sure you're okay with where it looks like your dad and I are headed? You've had him to yourself your whole life. I don't want you to think I'm trying to replace you…but I'd like to feel at least close to equal. I know there will never be a time when he won't drop everything and run when you need him…and, if it's okay with you, I'd probably be right beside him."

"I want you right beside him. I'm leaving for college soon, and he needs somebody to come home to…somebody to take care of…somebody who wants Rick, not Richard Castle, rich, best-selling author. That never really mattered to you. You always saw a man, not somebody on page six or a book cover. That was the first thing Grams and I liked about you. He needs you, Kate…and I think you need him, too."

"Yeah," she answered softly. "I think I do. We're making progress."

"I can see that. So, whatever changed, I'm glad it did."

"Me, too, Alexis. Me, too." Checking her watch, Kate looked surprised. "As much as I'd rather be here, I'd better get back to work. I didn't realize we had been here so long. There isn't much left to do on that last case, but I'd like to put it away before I go home."

"It's my turn to make dinner tonight. Want to make "going home" our place? Salmon filets," she dangled as an enticement. "Considering how late we all had lunch, about seven?"

"I'd love it."

They walked back to the station, and after a hug, went their separate ways at the door. Kate went back to the work that waited at her desk, and after she had finished it, she all but held her breath until her shift was up. No calls about a body. Freedom! Since when was she counting the minutes until she could leave work? She had some errands to run before dinner, and didn't want to be late.

Castle had made it back home by the time Beckett arrived at the door of the loft. Closing the door, he greeted her with a quick kiss and said, "You're early…not that I mind."

"I thought I'd see if Alexis could use some help in the kitchen. Thanks for sending her to have lunch with me. It was a nice break in my day."

He wrapped his arms loosely around her waist. "I'd hate to see you deprived of a Castle in your life, even for a little while. We have to stay present to be sure you don't forget that you need us.

"I do need you…all of you, she admitted, slipping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder. I realize it most when there isn't a Castle around. It just doesn't feel quite right."

"Who are you, and what have you done with Beckett?" he chuckled.

"I was asking myself the same thing. I couldn't wait to leave work, either. When did all this having a life and facing reality take me over?"

"Since you decided to trust me…and fell in love with my daughter, too?"

"Could be. I think I like being Kate and leaving Beckett at the precinct."

"Good," he answered, kissing the top of her head. "The master plan is working." He smiled somewhat victoriously before kissing her again.

Alexis was watching the foyer out of the corner of her eye and enjoying that they seemed so easy with each other now. She had her suspicions about why, but she was staying away from that conversation. They both looked happier and more relaxed than either of them had since Kate had appeared in their lives.

"What can I do to help, Alexis?" Kate asked, planting a quick kiss on Castle's chest and pulling herself away from the solid warmth of him. She slipped out of her coat and dropped it over the corner of the sofa.

"You can finish the salad while I get the bread in the oven. Just about everything is chopped. And the dressing is on the table."

"I'm on it."

They had a leisurely meal and cleaned up together, good-naturedly bumping each other out of the way as they worked and teasing about who was hogging too much space. When they finished, Castle grabbed both of them in a three-way hug.

"I love it when my girls are working together," he said contentedly, kissing each of them on the forehead.

Kate and Alexis looked at one another and grinned, remembering their conversation from the afternoon.

"I'm your girl, Dad, but…"

"I'm your woman," Kate interrupted, and both "his girls" looked at him as if he might challenge them.

"Whoa, now," he answered, looking back and forth between them, "are the two of you ganging up on me? Not sure I love _that_."

"It's okay, Castle…" Kate started.

"We both love you." Alexis finished.

"Now you're finishing each other's sentences? That's a little creepy." He took his arms off their shoulders and held them up in front of him as he started backing away, and they laughed and draped their arms around each other for a better effect.

"Want to see what I was working on this morning?" Alexis asked Kate.

"Sure," Kate answered. "Impress me."

Alexis was still chuckling as she led the way up the stairs, and Castle could hear them from her room sounding like two teen-agers were in there instead of one. He smiled to himself as he went and settled at the desk in his study. Life was good.

When Kate came back down alone and didn't see him, she assumed he would be in his study, and knew she would be welcomed. She walked in with new confidence and made herself comfortable in his lap.

He wrapped his arms around her and greeted her with a kiss before he asked, "You're coming to the New Year's Eve party, aren't you – as my date this time?"

"I'll be there."

"You don't sound too excited."

"You know I'm not big on lavish parties."

"If I'd known this is where we'd be right now, I would never have planned it, but it would be rude for the host not to show up. Or to disappear just before midnight. I can think of other midnight traditions we could start…just the two of us." His eyebrows were wiggling again, and Kate couldn't hold back a chuckle.

"I'm guessing that might have to wait until next year."

"Too bad, but you're probably right. That could sooo get us on the first page of the tabloids."

"A place to be shunned at all costs."

"I'm sorry I come with that kind of baggage. I know it makes you uncomfortable. But it isn't nearly as bad as it used to be."

"Hey, if you're willing to put up with the baggage that comes with me, I can stand a few flashbulbs and uncomfortable stories. You're worth it."

There was a flurry of footsteps coming down the stairs, and Alexis appeared at the door, stopping and looking apologetic and a little embarrassed at interrupting the picture of contentment she found in her dad's study. "Sorry. I should start learning to knock."

"It's okay, Pumpkin. Come on in. This is something you might have to get used to. I like it…a lot."

"Me, too," Kate answered, looking directly at him before she turned to Alexis. "Is it too much? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Castle just watched. Very little could have stopped him from this relationship, but he'd had a couple of concerns, regarding Alexis, about adding Kate to his family; and as he watched tonight, they seemed to be facing them head on, fully conscious of each other's feelings and entirely without his help. Kate was definitely the one they both needed.

"I'll get used to it." She looked as if she might stop there, but then took a resigned breath and added, "Just don't do anything really icky without shutting the door…please. Walking in on… That would be… Eeeeew!" she said with a shudder.

"Point taken," Castle answered. "And a closed door will be respected?"

"Seriously, Dad? You think I'd want to take that chance?"

Kate looked down, a little uncomfortable with her part of the present picture, but glad they were confronting it.

"Sorry, Sweetheart," he said, pulling Kate closer. "We might as well deal with the embarrassment factor now. No sense in accidentally ruining my daughter's psychological balance later."

"I'm okay with that. It's just new."

"Did you need me for something, honey?" he asked Alexis.

"I'm going to meet Megan at the coffee shop around the corner. I'll be back about ten."

"Okay."

"Be careful," Kate added

"I will. Now _you're_ finishing each other's thoughts," Alexis said as she kissed both of them on the cheek.

"Creepy?" her dad asked.

"About fifty/fifty," she answered, thinking about it. Then she amended with a smile, "Part creepy, and part I love it. I'll be back in a little while. Bye." And she was gone with a little wave.

When they heard the front door close, Kate and Rick both laughed.

"Did you just call me Sweetheart?"

"Should I not do that again? It felt right at the time."

"Do you ever call Alexis that?"

He thought for a moment, cataloging all the pet names he used for his daughter. "No, not since she was too little to remember."

"Then it's okay. But just once in a while. I don't want us to turn into one of those sticky sweet couples."

"Agreed…Sweetheart." And he gave her a quick kiss.

"And I don't want to have one of those moments when you use a pet name for one of us and both of us answer. I don't want your daughter to feel like I've usurped something that belongs to her."

He rested his forehead against hers and said, "Soooo… A taste of family life. Are you sure you're up for it?"

"Maybe. I'm getting there. It's definitely different for me."

"But you love it, don't you? Come on. Say it."

"Yes," she admitted after a long pause.

"I knew it. The master plan at work again." He followed his statement with his best, villainous I'm-going-to-rule-the-world laugh, then dramatically moved her from his lap, closed the door to the study and backed her into his bedroom. "Now, before the child gets back from the coffee shop, we're going to do icky things…" Kate chuckled as the bedroom door was just as dramatically closed behind him with another villainous laugh.

The rest of the week at the precinct was busy, but fortunately their two cases dealt with stupid criminals who practically nailed themselves to the wall un-aided. The team was left with simply tying up all the pieces of irrefutable evidence…and the accompanying files of paperwork. That gave Castle the freedom to deal with the loose ends of the New Year's Eve party he wished he had never planned.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The hotel was in line with the fireworks display that would happen at midnight, the caterers had outdone themselves, the music was eclectic enough to make everyone happy at one time or another, and the party was well underway when Captain Victoria Gates showed up around eleven. Martha was thoroughly enjoying playing hostess and training Alexis in that endeavor, and they both greeted Gates as if they hadn't heard so much as one of the unflattering stories Castle constantly told about the captain. Gates wouldn't have bothered to come; but she was an ambitious woman, and an evening where she could rub elbows with the mayor, the police chief, a few judges, and probably a celebrity or two before the evening was over, was too good to pass up. Before she arrived, she had decided on her response to the inevitable question about how much Castle actually contributes to the precinct and was prepared to put it to use.

Castle looked up to see who the next guest was, and bumped Kate's arm to get her attention. "I guess I have to go make her feel welcome."

"Good luck."

"You're not coming with me?"

"I'm not hosting this party. Don't have to."

Castle turned and put on his hosting smile before walking toward the door. "Captain, I'm happy you came. Come in and enjoy the party. Would you like a drink?"

"I can take care of that myself, Mr. Castle," she said in her usual fashion.

Turning to the man at his left, Castle introduced the captain to the mayor. "This is the man responsible for your misery, I'm afraid." He then introduced her to two other men and their wives before being called away by a member of his hired staff to consult on a minor emergency.

Kate caught up with him as he returned from his distraction. "Where's the captain?"

"I palmed her off on the mayor and some of his friends," he answered with a grin. "She'll be fine. I have no doubt she can handle herself. Mother will keep her out of our hair as much as she can."

"Bless your mother."

"Yes, indeed. Would you like to dance?"

"With the captain here?"

"I'll behave. We'll leave space between us and everything."

"Hmmmm. Kinda spoils the fun, but why not?"

"That's the spirit. We won't let her ruin our evening."

Castle alternated mingling with guests and dancing or sharing a few minutes with Kate. Near midnight, the guests began to migrate toward the large windows to view the fireworks, but after starting in that direction, Kate lagged behind. Just before the countdown, Castle offered a toast, and then, at midnight, wrapped his arm around Kate's shoulders and gave her a respectable but lingering kiss. "To our own new year," he said and lightly tapped his champagne glass against hers.

At the first sound of the fireworks, Kate jumped…knowing it was coming, but caught off guard all the same. They already stood behind the crowd of people who were oooing and aaaahing at the windows, so they didn't feel on display. Castle's arm never left her shoulders as he put their glasses on the table beside them. She was all right at first, but as the explosions went on one after another, Kate gradually tensed and eventually rested her forehead on his shoulder, grasping the lapels of his jacket and feeling herself wanting to hide from the sounds. Her breathing was shallow, and she was gripping his lapels with white knuckles. He brought his other arm around her and whispered soothing words as he rubbed his hand up and down her back.

The captain watched from within the crowd, her suspicions about them confirmed in her mind.

Alexis came to them and took over stroking Kate's shoulder as Castle put an arm around Alexis, too. She kissed his cheek, and he kissed the top of her head, and the three of them stood, helping Kate hold herself together. Martha made her way there, too, smoothing a hand briefly over Kate's hair, and before moving on, planting a kiss there much like the one Castle had given his daughter.

As she heard what seemed to be the finale of the fireworks show, Kate straightened and determinedly started to pull her outward self together before the wall of humanity at the window could notice the little family gathering behind them. She didn't want to embarrass Castle at his own party. Martha moved back toward the window to give them as much time as she could away from the guests. Kate took Alexis' hand and gave it a squeeze, along with a smile and a thank you; and Alexis went to join Martha.

"Are you all right? Castle asked Kate.

"I'm getting there."

"I'll be right here as long as you need me."

"I know."

"Why don't we sit down before they all come back? Over here." He led her to a corner where there were only a few chairs and they wouldn't be surrounded when everyone returned.

At the end of the fireworks show, the music started again, and some of the guests returned to the dance floor. Others dispersed to various parts of the room for drinks, food, or conversation. It wasn't long before people started coming to find Castle to say goodnight, and he was pulled away from Kate to handle his hosting duties again. She assured him that she was all right, but he asked his mother and Alexis to keep an eye on her anyway.

She felt a presence and was surprised when she looked up to find Captain Gates sitting down beside her.

"You okay?" Gates asked.

"I'm fine."

"The hell you are. I was in the service before I was on the force. I've seen PTSD before. I caught wind of you fighting it during the sniper case. The fireworks tonight…the shooting?"

"I don't…"

"A lot of people don't have the kind of family you do to support them. Don't give up."

"I don't have a family...just my dad."

"I'm not blind. They may not be legally yours; but they obviously consider themselves yours. The man giving the party is the act he puts on, right? Your partner isn't what the press pictures him to be, is he?"

"No," Kate answered, looking down, wondering where this conversation was going.

"Are you getting help for the PTSD?"

"Yes, sir." She looked up, facing Gates with a determined look.

"Good. It's a real bear."

"It is."

"You need to have the good sense to turn over the reins if you're losing control."

Kate nodded, knowing she couldn't hide it from the captain any longer.

Gates leaned back in the chair and took a deep breath. "A couple of years after I joined the force, I married my partner. We were happy. We didn't have a lot of time together, but I wouldn't give up any of it to avoid the pain. He died in the line of duty six months after the wedding."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. Were you there when it happened?"

"You mean was he distracted, trying to take care of me?"

"No. I didn't mean…"

"Hell, no. They'd split us up. Policy…no choice. It was the first bad situation with his new partner. If I'd had his back, he'd have come out alive."

Kate looked at her in surprise. What was she trying to say?

Inclining her head toward Castle, Gates leaned toward Kate and stated, "That man isn't going to let anything happen to you if he can help it, and you aren't going to let anything happen to him. I can see that now. He's a civilian. No policy to cover that. Don't worry. I won't take your writer away from you. I might order him to get some training, but I won't take him away."

Kate was literally speechless as Gates stood.

"I think I need to say my good-byes," Gates said as she started to walk away, then she turned back. "And, detective, if you don't reach out and hold on to people who love you as much as they do, you are a class A fool…and we don't harbor fools at the twelfth, do we?"

"No, we don't." Kate gave her a small, appreciative smile.

Pointing a finger in Kate's direction, Gates told her sternly, "This conversation never happened." She paused briefly and added, "Happy New Year, detective."

"To you, too, Captain. Thank you."

With that, Gates found her way through the dwindling crowd and left the room. And Kate sat wondering if she might be hallucinating again.

When the guests were gone, the Castles and Kate retired to the large suite Rick had booked for the night. He announced to his family that Kate needed to feel safe tonight, and therefore she would be staying with him…clothed and door ajar if either of them needed him…but Kate would be with him.

She told him about Gates' nonexistent conversation as they were snuggled together talking before contentedly drifting off to sleep.

xxxxx

The following morning, Castle came to the precinct with flowers, taking them to the captain's office and saying, "These came for you," for the benefit of anyone listening. "And this came with them." He handed her the flowers and took a card from his pocket. "Thank you for what you did for Kate. The conversation doesn't exist beyond the three of us. I just…I needed you to know…."

"Take care of my detective, Castle. And the two of you had better keep it out of the precinct. That's all I need."

He nodded, placed the card on her desk and said, "Understood. I intend to show both of you that respect." Then he left, moving back to Beckett's desk, sitting down and discreetly putting his hand over hers with one of their signature eye contacts.

Esposito knocked on the door frame before going into Gates' office with information she had asked for, breaking her concentration on the card she was reading. She held her hand out and accepted the folder, pointed it in the direction of Beckett's desk, and asked pointedly, "There's a pool on those two, isn't there?"

Esposito was shocked into silence, didn't know how to answer.

"Come on, detective, there's always a pool on this kind of thing."

"Uh…yeah. More than one, actually."

"So what's the big one right now?"

"That he'll pop the question on Valentine's Day."

Gates looked at Kate and Rick briefly, turned and stared at Esposito just long enough to make him want to fidget; then, never looking up as she sat down and pulled herself to her desk to open the file, said in her perfunctory manner, "Put me down for fifty that he won't last that long."


End file.
